We’re afraid of making them worse.
As I teach others how to provide gentle-touch massage, I hear it all the time. Students are afraid to touch others who are ill.
So was I!
The question is: Are we strong enough to overcome the fear and move forward?
Websters defines fear as – an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
Fear is the absence of calm.
Fear keeps us from doing those things we desire to do.
In the context of learning a new skill, fear is a normal reaction. It’s the fear of the unknown, the fear of messing up – in this case making someone feel worse. It’s the fear of looking stupid in front of our peers. All normal reactions to learning something new.
Can you look fear in the eye with determination and resolve or do you allow fear to overcome the opportunity? It’s a big question and one only you can answer.
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I vividly remember my training in January, 2012 at OHSU – Oregon Health and Science University Hospital, Portland, OR. This 5-day hospital intensive met part of the requirement for my 300-hour Oncology Massage Training. It was a time of great anticipation and a LOT of fear.
The bulk of the training was on the bone marrow transplant floor of the hospital – floors 12 and 13. I was there among doctors, nurses, therapists and aides. I felt like a fish out of water. I learned protocol for gowning, gloving, masking and basic hospital etiquette. I learned about charting, the patient assignment board and to really pay attention to the signs on the patient door.
The goal—provide massage to patients… VERY sick patients.
The class met daily in a small workroom to prepare for the day ahead. Every morning, we were asked to share something about how the process was going.
I remember, each day – all 5 days – my answer was,
“I don’t want to make them worse.”
I remember praying silently before entering the space. This quote came to mind and I live by it today:
“That which doesn’t kill you makes your stronger.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche
At the time of the training, I lived in Dallas, TX. Remember, my training is in Portland, OR.
The first patient I was assigned to was from Ft. Worth, TX. We had great conversation which eased my nerves. The session was lovely. Patient and family were happy with the relaxation and comfort that was received.
Once I completed that first massage, I had a feeling of satisfaction and gratitude. I understood how my touch really can make a difference. It gave me confidence to continue.
That’s how I got through those first massages with those who are very ill. I remembered my training. I remembered the encouraging words from my instructor, and I moved forward with the skills I had been taught. And I prayed.
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Have you been in a similar situation? Maybe it wasn’t providing massage for someone who is ill, but another situation that you thought you could never do? Maybe something like public speaking. Think about that fearful situation… how did you get through it?
Depending on how badly you want to complete the task determines if you will complete it, right? We must:
- Commit to the process.
- Be determined to see it through to the end.
- Push through the fear to complete the steps.
- Accept the encouragement from those who have gone before.
- Trust that your touch is enough and will improve with practice.
If you’re feeling fearful about providing gentle touch massage for someone who is ill, please know that it’s a common feeling. I encourage you today to give it a try. Yes, it will be hard, but just as I did, commit to the process and rely on your knowledge and skill.
I’m here for you!
susan@progressivemassagetherapy.com