Is your loved one hesitant to allow you to provide massage for them? Did they say something like, “You’re already doing so much, I can’t let you do one more thing for me.”
It’s a common statement.
I get it, I’ve been there. I know you want to do this because you understand the benefits. You know that a gentle massage will help them feel better.
Empower yourself to do this for your loved one with these suggestions:
Communication is key!
- Words: Approach the topic with words other than “massage”.
- “Would it be ok if I rubbed some lotion on your hands while you watch TV?”
- “It will be very gentle. I think you’ll really like it.”
- “Will you give me 10 or 15 minutes to try?”
- Desire: Let them know you sincerely want to do this for them.
- “I really would love to do this for you today.”
- “I think it will help you feel better.”
- “Will you give me 10 or 15 minutes to try?”
- Presence: This word can be confusing to some. It simply means “being there”. Deliberately being in the space with your loved one.
- If your loved one is persistent in denying the gentle touch, don’t take it personally.
- Instead, sit with them. Be present with them.
- Persistence: Try again tomorrow. Don’t take the first no, as a forever no.
- When you ask the same questions tomorrow and again next week, your loved one will begin to understand how important this is to you.
- Once they allow you to provide the massage, they’ll understand and look forward to your sessions.
The reality… some people don’t enjoy being touched – and that’s ok. Their wishes should be honored. If you’ve given it a whole-hearted try and they continue to decline massage, it’s ok. Another option is to “hold” their hands or feet without any movement. I provide step-by-step instruction on “holds” here.
I’m confident that once your loved-one receives gentle-touch and experiences the comfort, rest, relaxation and stress reduction, they will agree most every time you ask. Or – they’ll be asking you.
Please reach out if you need clarification or have questions. I’d LOVE to hear from you.
Warmly,
Susan
P.S. – Join my Private Facebook Community – A Guide for Caregivers: How to Provide Gentle Touch for Your Loved One
P.S.S. – Need some ideas on how to create some calm? Get my free guide – 5 Ways to Create Some Calm for Your Bed-Bound Loved One Here